A SAMPLE SURVEY IN THE FUTURE

This is circa 25^th of December’’2050 A.D. MR International is again in the news, as it has won MRSI’s, “MR agency of the year “, for , now 45^th time in a row, and a special commendation, for managing the conference, within  allowed spend of carbon footprints. Of the many research papers, which were discussed, the much talked about, sample survey from MR was “Life-Style Trends of Mid-Twenty-first Century”.

The survey was carried out, using both qualitative and quantitative techniques. The quali team, has used, recently developed “deta-pano-keeta-conundrum-psycho” profiling technique, wherein respondents were exposed to collage making, through MS Office 2048. The quantitative research had collected data, through freelance android’s, which were programmed to burn, at the exact moment of any wrong data entry.

The survey revealed , that across,  all Indian consumers, the three main lifestyle aspirations (a) Owning an  Aircar  (b) Holiday in moon  (c) Having a relationship which lasted more than one year.
At present, Aircar is owned mostly by SEC A only (94%). SEC B to SEC E is still driving Roadcars. Maruti Suzuki’s “Breeze”, which is highest selling air car in India, continues to maintain its desire factor. Consumers feel that condition of Indian ATC (air traffic controls) is still deplorable and dangerous, yet, driving in air and looking down at other human beings, is “the status symbol”. However, the other interesting thing, which came out from the survey was, that 74% of respondents are confident, that Tata Motors, would soon be able to come up, with world’s cheapest air-car. Yes, people would not be provided space for their personal android in this small air-car. Yet, industry experts feel, that India remains a price sensitive market, and the “Aano” from Tata Motors would be a success.

Whether it is teens, tweens, and adults or even among PG (pre-Google i.e. people born before Google) generation, spending a vacation on moon means, that they have “accomplished “something and for the post Google generation, it connotes “have arrived”. Bringing pieces from the moon and then gifting to their jealous relatives, who have not been able to go to the moon, has become the latest fad in town. Price cuts by the two airlines in India are also a factor, feel respondents. Government run Indian Airlines has cut ticket prices by 5%, while the private run Kingjetdeccago   Airlines has cut by 5.001%. Research says that vacation on moon occupies a huge mindspace among Indian consumer because of the fact that moon at present is occupied by three countries, viz., USA, China and India. Further, the network problem on the moon has been recently solved, with new towers by BSNL, Airtel and Zoozoovodphone.

The other major lifestyle trend, which the sample survey focused, was the growth of virtual relationships. In the last two decades or so, real world relationships have lost relevance. Hence, today’s consumer aspires for a virtual spouse, girlfriend or a friend as they can manage to remain in relationship for more than one year. However virtual relationships are coming up with their own challenges. Research found that three main concerns are infidelity, compatibility and lack of expression of feelings.  Infidelity i.e. use of same e-mail account for virtual relationship with two people, is the biggest heart breaker. Then there are compatibility issues i.e. one partner switched to Linux, but, other is still on Windows. And, in the age band of 35-45, expression of feelings is a prime factor. Many a cases one partner is feeling that other was not sending regular  e-hugs and e-kisses to sustain the relationship. Because of these the virtual relationships are having their  stresses and causing insecurity and internet phobia.

Lastly, the survey asked each respondent as to what are the two main political issues  facing Indians at present. There were varied spontaneous responses (95% of them had some view), however, top of mind issues were (a) Kashmir Issue  (b) Babri Masjid Dispute. India and Pakistan are yet to arrive on a consensus about erstwhile United Nation’s 1949 resolution. However, majority of Indian’s (58%) feel that current Prime Minister Anmol Gandhi would be successfully able to carry forward the steps and initiatives taken by his father and ex-prime minister Rahul Gandhi. In Babri Masjid, most of the respondent’s (89%) don’t seem to have any hope of any resolution.

Note: The survey was carried out by MR, between 26^th November 2050 to 09^th December’2050. The respondent base was 834 across all SECs and was equally spread across all 4 major metros of India viz., Jaipur, Pune , Patna and Kochi. Besides, for qualitative part, chat room group discussions with respondents from mini metros of Delhi , Mumbai etc., were conducted. As per government of India guidelines, no paper was used anywhere and carbon foot prints were given as incentives to respondents for participation.

HOW TO GET GOOD SALARY INCREMENTS

There is nothing which money can’t buy. Hence if we have less money, we can talk about ethical philosophical thoughts, but, fact remains that money is important. And for the benefit of millions of people, who jump and dance and eat chocolates (if it can be afforded) on first date of month, we are revealing secrets, on how to get good salary increments. A must read. Put on your glasses, if you use, to see all fine prints here.
The first and foremost thing is that it is not important that you work, but, requirement is to show that you are working. Move with energy even if you are feeling sleepy in your workplace. Make a huge noise, cry yourself hoarse, tell everyone even if some are not willing to listen, if your one small bit of effort has resulted in some positive effects. Things to do list, is not made to act, but to show it to your boss discreetly, even if it has remained the same for last 8 working days. If you are planning to surf the net, play games and chat after sending the important e-mail, the smart technique is to first prepare the draft, let us say by 5:30 P.M., have fun on company’s expense and send the e-mail by 10:30 P.M. when you are about to leave. The impression would be that poor chap has been working hard till 10:30 P.M. in the night.

There are Oriental massages, African way of massage, Ayurvedic massage, herbal massages, animal massages and what all but the best and most important and which you need to learn is how to massage the ego of your boss. It is a very delicate technique requiring years of practice, good ingredients, right kind of situations and ability to apply softly and slowly.

Every human being likes to be appreciated, adored, and respected. So how can you boss or client be different. Flattery is a difficult art but once you get a hold on to it, it becomes the biggest skill advantage and technical competence you can have. If you are not adept to it, practice it day in and day out. Observe people who are successful in corporate world and you can learn a lot of techniques of flattery from these masters.

And now the most important commandment is that never, never the buck should stop at you. When the things go wrong, the reason is that whom you have delegated didn’t work as he/she should be, or your senior or client didn’t give proper authority or instruction. No way, on this earth, you can be responsible for the blame, even if you are only one who has led to this fiasco. Have a strong EQ i.e. emotional quotient. Even if client or customer shouts and screams at you, make sure that the moment it come’s in the right ear, next second later, it goes out from the left ear. Do not get affected by it. Professionally it is called as “part of job”, “professional hazards” etc.,

Hard work is working throughout the year. Smart work is working 2 months before the appraisal. Technically in HR, it is called as “recency effect” and universally applicable. Become very active as soon as performance appraisal months come near. Come early, leave late. Respond to each communication like your life depends on it. Get involved in each project as never before. If the boss’s wife is facing problem, because the maid or servant is not coming, do overtime at his house. It will also help in building a personal relationship. Drop a hint or two that you are getting an offer from competition, and yes, obviously, even this may not be true at all.

Can these strategies ever fail? They never have and never will. Once you apply them, the salary increments would be good and money will be able to buy you everything. So what are you waiting for?